” There has been a lot of speculation about Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Terrorism, hijacking, meteors. I cannot believe the analysis on CNN; it’s almost disturbing. I tend to look for a simpler explanation, and I find it with the 13,000-foot runway at Pulau Langkawi.
We know the story of MH370: A loaded Boeing 777 departs at midnight from Kuala Lampur, headed to Beijing. A hot night. A heavy aircraft. About an hour out, across the gulf toward Vietnam, the plane goes dark, meaning the transponder and secondary radar tracking go off. Two days later we hear reports that Malaysian military radar (which is a primary radar, meaning the plane is tracked by reflection rather than by transponder interrogation response) has tracked the plane on a southwesterly course back across the Malay Peninsula into the Strait of Malacca.
The left turn is the key here. Zaharie Ahmad Shah1 was a very experienced senior captain with 18,000 hours of flight time. We old pilots were drilled to know what is the closest airport of safe harbor while in cruise. Airports behind us, airports abeam us, and airports ahead of us. They’re always in our head. Always. If something happens, you don’t want to be thinking about what are you going to do–you already know what you are going to do. When I saw that left turn with a direct heading, I instinctively knew he was heading for an airport. He was taking a direct route to Palau Langkawi, a 13,000-foot airstrip with an approach over water and no obstacles. The captain did not turn back to Kuala Lampur because he knew he had 8,000-foot ridges to cross. He knew the terrain was friendlier toward Langkawi, which also was closer.
Take a look at this airport on Google Earth. The pilot did all the right things. He was confronted by some major event onboard that made him make an immediate turn to the closest, safest airport.”
Often the simplest explanation is the correct one . Of course , conspiracy theories sell more airtime and newspapers and we are all well aware of the scruples or lack there-of of the Media . Read Capt Goodfellow’s theory and see what you think .
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Europe’s
LargestOil Refinery Catches On Fire, Happens To Be In Russia
” Amazingly, no one was injured when Europe’s largest oil refinery, like, totally burned with the force of a thousand suns yesterday. And obviously it’s in Russia.”
” The refinery is OJSC TANECO, formerly known as the Nizhnekamsk refinery, in Tartarstan. If you get into your Lada and drive due East from Moscow, you’ll get there in about 14 hours.”
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” Maybe you were too focused on the crisis in Syria or Dennis Rodman’s latest diplomatic mission, but as of late in our world of shitty news there has been a throng of stories of people running afoul of absolutely massive piles of butt fudge.
And it is our duty (hey-yo!) as responsible purveyors of sentences on the Internet to keep you informed of such matters. Here’s a bracing squirt of news you will never, ever be able to use. We apologize if you never feel clean again.”
#4. Disgruntled Man Fills Ex-Wife’s Hot Tub With Gallons of Feces
” Rene Daniel from Montreal had just been served divorce papers by his wife. Instead of trying to settle the matter like an adult or just move on with his life, he came up with a novel cure for his heartbreak: a poop cauldron.
Perhaps Daniel decided that the most adept allegory for his failed marriage was a steaming tub of turds, because the police caught him pouring manure into his wife’s beloved hot tub. And not just a tiny amount, either. We’re talking wheelbarrows full of it. He also left a nice pile for his dear wife right next to the front door. When he realized he had been caught brown-handed, he decided to run from the police. On a tractor. Against all odds, they were somehow able to catch up with the tractor and arrest him.”
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LAX Emergency Evacuation Deemed False Alarm
” Visitors and passengers of Los Angeles International Airport were greeted with a shocking message Monday night when the airport’s flight-status boards accidentally flashed an emergency evacuation message.
Passengers were the first to notify police after the message appeared behind ticket counters at the Tom Bradley International Terminal. Passengers said the message read: “An emergency has been declared in the terminal. Please evacuate.”
The Los Angeles Times reported that airport personnel initially believed the message was the work of a hacker. Authorities investigated the affected computer systems but did not identify any suspects.”
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Eric Allie’s Furious Diaper
Newsmax
YouViewed/Editorial 